Which Seat Did You Take?

Are you still in a space of emotional recovery after the rollercoaster ride of Irma?! I have heard numerous comments from both friends and clients that they are still trying to catch their emotional footing after the ordeal of this hurricane. They express feeling emotionally wiped out, wavering between feeling relieved it is over, happy they came out okay, guilty that others got it worse, exhausted and worried if or when it could happen again. 

It got me thinking, what is creating all this suffering and how we can create stronger emotional resiliency to overcome this stressor. First of all, recognize this:

Suffering does happen when an event occurs; it happens the instant your mind labels the event as ‘bad’.  

For the better part of a week, we listened to reports of how big and bad this hurricane was and how it had destroyed the little islands in the Caribbean. Whether you realized it or not that was the moment your suffering started.

Your suffering began when the little voice in your head starting labeling the situation as bad and envisioning all the horrible things that could happen to you and your property. Perhaps it said:

This is going to be bad! 
What if I have no home to come back to? 
Where am I going to get fresh water, food, gas?
What if something bad happens to my family or friends? 
What if I my business floods, how long will it take to get things working again? 
 
Do you recognize this commentary?

What did it do to your emotional outlook on the day you learned about the storm? Did it ruin an otherwise beautiful day? Or were you able to manage it successfully?

A key to shifting from suffering into a calmer and a more emotionally resilient space does not lie in ignoring that the storm could have dire consequences and bury your head in the sand, nor does it lie in allowing your brain to go into panic mode and play out worst case scenarios. Rather it resides in how you manage your internal mental chatter.

To manage this negative commentary, learn to become the watcher or witness of this mental chatter. This powerful position places you in the driver’s seat of your mind, not the passenger seat!

In the driver’s seat, you can watch what the brain is doing and decide if you want to go down that path or not. In the passenger seat, you get hijacked by your own mind as it takes you on a ride of stress hormones and suffering.  

Irma certainly tried to create some suffering and negative mental chatter in my mind, but I managed through it by recognizing when it was occurring and changing the dialog.

For instance, as I walked out of my house earlier in the week; the sun was shining and my little voice said, “This would be the perfect Florida day if we didn’t have that hurricane barreling down on us! All of this could be gone next week.”

By being the watcher of my own thoughts I corrected the statement with, “This is the perfect Florida day. Stay present, enjoy the here and now. Do not create undue suffering. If it is gone next week it will be painful. There will be some rough days, but I will figure it out one day at a time.” 

Saying that to myself did not make me unaware of the fact there was a category 5 hurricane headed our way, nor did it make that little anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach completely go away, but it did make it manageable. It allowed me to remain emotionally grounded and operate in the present. This helped me function clearly under what could have been a highly stressful space had I allowed my brain to be hijacked and taken on the ‘what if’ ride!

Creating Conscious Change Exercise:
 
I have learned over the years of studying the brain that it is a very powerful computer we program daily with how we talk to ourselves.

Learn to talk to yourself with an empowered voice, a voice that reassures you things will work out in the end even if you don’t see the path right now. This tool is one of the big keys to interrupting patterns of suffering and building stronger emotional resiliency!